My husband and I aren’t the kind of couple that shower each other with gifts for no reason. We’re the special occasions kind of couple – birthday’s, Christmas, Fathers Day and Mothers Day, that sort of thing.
I would class giving birth, a special occasion too though!
I had experienced quite a difficult pregnancy and as most of us know, giving birth isn’t a breeze either, so I must admit I felt I deserved something for my efforts. But I’m not the type of wife that would warn her fella in advance to have something for me. No, I’m probably worse. I waited to see if he thought of it all on his own (but sort of knowing he probably didn’t) Then I got pissed off with him for not buying me something and I held a grudge for a few weeks afterwards. Yes, I hold grudges. It wasn’t the sort of grudge where I brought it up everyday though. I was way too ill and tired for that! But I did throw it into conversations every so often. (I obviously didn’t take on board what our celebrant told us on our wedding day – holding a grudge is far from healthy) but sure I knew that!
You see he gave me flowers when I arrived home from hospital after giving birth to Olivia and I was genuinely thrilled. It made me feel extra special and it showed me that he appreciated me. So I expected the same really, if not more second time around.
The term Push Present is an American craze that slowly made it’s way over the Atlantic in the last ten years thanks to celebrities like Rachel Zoe (who received a 10 Carat diamond ring) and Mariah Carey (who received a diamond and sapphire necklace). Now I’m not wanting extravagant gifts like that. God no, I’ve seen the bank balance. Live within your means and all that! My point is they still got a gift. I don’t actually like the term Push Present at all to be honest. It makes giving a gift less meaningful. To me the term seems like we’re expected to give birth a little more gracefully just so we get a decent present at the end of it. The women that are really into receiving push presents are expecting way more than a token too I might add. These women are expecting diamond rings, designer handbags, top of the range electronics for Christ sake! I would’ve been so happy with a bouquet of flowers. Flowers are my thing you see. I just wanted a little bit of recognition for pushing a baby through my vagina. Lets not forget, having a C -Section is giving birth too. Whether it’s through your vagina or out through your belly, that baby has to come out and no one gets away from it pain free. So the term “Push Present” doesn’t quite fit.
When visitors come to see your new baby they bring gifts for the baby and if you’re really lucky they sometimes bring gifts for the mother too. So I don’t think I am being ridiculous or selfish for wanting a gift from my husband. And while I’m on a roll here, I might as well hang him out to dry completely. He arrived down to the hospital when Oscar was a day old with TWO boxes of chocolates and TWO thank you cards for the midwives that helped deliver him safely but he had nothing for his wife who was lying in bed feeling like she had been hit by a train. Am I missing something here?
I’ve now come to terms with the fact he didn’t feel the need to give me something after birthing our son but I was curious to know how much “push presents” have caught on over here. Are they even a thing? And I wondered do other women expect them too?
I created a survey for my readers to take part in and I was quite surprised by the results.
Out of the 89 women that took part –
31 had not heard of the term “push present”
65 said that they didn’t expect any sort of gift from their partner but…
40 of them did receive one, and…
30 women wouldn’t class flowers as a good enough gift!
I also asked them what type of gift had they received from their partner –
21 received jewellery, 12 received flowers, 3 received a gift voucher and 19 received an unspecified gift.
So surprisingly enough I wasn’t the only one left with her hands swinging but I honestly thought I would’ve been. Something else that surprised me too is that some of these women don’t actually care. So either I’m too materialistic or men are just winning all round!
But for me the term Push Present should be changed to the ” Wow you did that” present!
What are your thoughts?