Parenting – Contradictions and Realisations

blog3I can wholeheartedly admit that I strive to do things right when it comes to raising my little girl. Lately I’ve been asking myself, can anyone actually do it RIGHT? The answer is simply no. I realise now there are so many contradictions it’s no wonder I struggle half the time.

Bedtime – There was a time, long ago when I lay Olivia in her cot wide awake and walk out of the room while she fell asleep by herself. Those times were great, I was proud that she could do that. Then at 10 months old that all changed. She needed/wanted/cried for us to be in the room with her, we tried to settle her but it just didn’t work. She’s now in a double bed and to this day we lie beside her until she falls asleep. Just the other night I was lying there, saying to myself this is wrong, other parents don’t do this, I’m not being a “proper” parent here, then Olivia wrapped her arm around my neck and I kind of melted inside. I am not sorry for that feeling I felt. I thought to myself, she’ll be grown up before I know it and if she wants/needs/cries for us to lie beside her then we bloody well will. She’s a strong independent girl in many other way’s and I guess at night, before she sleeps, she wants the comfort of her mammy or daddy. It’s not the worst thing we could do as parents surely?

Here’s a few more –

Guilt – As all parents know this is a daily occurence, but when it comes to a night out and we all know those nights are few and far between, why do the invites have to come at once? I might not have anything on for three months then all of a sudden I have to go out two weekends in a row, I feel so guilty when I have to go to these things that I don’t allow myself to endure the hangover that I so badly have the next day. I feel I owe it to Olivia to give her 110% of my attention and energy but then I just die for the week and that’s just not worth it!

Tantrums – O is two now so we’re very much at the beginning of this phase. I succumbed to her tantrum one day and bought her crisps at 11.15 AM yes, AM! She was screaming the shop down and I just wanted to keep her quiet. It worked but she ate two crisps and handed them back to me! Why did I do that, why? (I have dealt with that situation better ever since)…

Soothers – They calm a newborn baby beautifully but in the long term they’re a dirty nuisance! I should’ve weaned her earlier than aged two, why did no one tell me?!?

Shopping – Regular clothes shopping for myself is a thing of the past. Wearing clothes I’ve worn for years is totally normal now. My priorities have most definitely changed and I now buy more clothes for O than I do for myself.

A tidy house – What’s that?  Toy’s lot’s of toy’s and baby/toddler equipment don’t fit well in a two bed house. When I tidy, it’s wrecked 15 minutes later. GIVE ME STRENGTH!

Saving money – I’ve been told a few times that I should save my children’s allowance for the “College Fund”. Who the f#$k saves their children’s allowance? I admire them, but seeing that money in my bank account every month is a God send. I plan on saving a percentage in the future, but right now, no.

Organisation – I was really organised and alway’s on-time once. Then I became a mother and all of that changed. I’m late and frazzled most of the time. I still have my organizational skills but applying them proves difficult. I’ve embraced this now but it drove me demented at first.

Relationships – Your relationship changes dramatically when you become new parents. At first it’s amazing and your love for one another is beaming from your entire body because you’ve created this perfect baby together….fast forward a few months and one day you realize you haven’t said I Love You in like five day’s. Tiredness takes over and it takes a lot more effort to keep that spark alive. Sometimes I can’t be arsed to get close but it’s just essential for my sanity. Date nights are very important. Once a month is more realistic than once a week though. Dinner, cinema, bowling even exercising together are great way’s to keep that spark alive!

2 thoughts on “Parenting – Contradictions and Realisations

  1. I love your honesty Aileen, don’t stress about the soothers/dodies. We got Kiera to leave them out for the baby birds, she was 2 and a half, it worked for a week or so, and then gave in because she just couldn’t sleep without it. When she was 4 we left them out on Christmas Eve for Santa to give to the baby reindeers. This worked as she was old enough to understand where they had gone. Yes they are a dirty nuisance but she’ll be able to part with them when she’s a little older. I felt under pressure because I heard chourses of “Oh mine got rid of their soothers at 1” so I accepted that all children do things when they are ready and in their own time, I got quite brave saying so to those “perfect parents” I would just smile and say “yeah she’ll do it in her own time” x


    1. Hi Linda, thanks for your comment. I love hearing other peoples stories on how they did things with their kids. I’d actually been writing that post for a few weeks and you won’t believe it but Olivia is now on day 4 and night 3 of having no dummy! I just took it from her Thursday morning and when she asked for it I just said it was gone and then I changed the subject. Then that night after I read her a story she asked for it again and I said it’s gone now and she just closed her eyes and went to sleep. I actually can’t believe it! But already today she’s asked for it twice but I just said the same thing. I’m thrilled at how well she’s coping 🙂 x


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